March 13, 2023, was the beginning of a never-ending lifelong journey of grief that no parent should ever live through.
On that day, Cassandra Kay Linder—Cassy, as we all called her—was enjoying her first day of spring break. She woke up that day vibrant and ready to rule the world, as she did every day. She called on one of her besties to go with her to get her nails done in the morning, in bright pink and white to match the Converse high-top shoes she had on.
After spending the day with her friends shopping, eating, and having fun, Cassy’s last stop of the day was to see her older sister, Brina, who had some clothes that she was handing down to Cassy.
Knowing that she had to be at work at 5:00 p.m., at the gymnastics center where she was a coach, it was a rather quick stop for her. That point forward was the beginning of a parent’s worst nightmare, a hurt that will never go away.
Cassy entered Highway 50, a Kansas Department of Transportation designated “Safety Corridor” at around 4:15 p.m. for roughly a three-mile journey home to get herself ready for work, in her little dirt brown Fiat 500.
It was at that moment on a clear, wind-free, beautiful day, that a CMV driver made a selfish mistake of what he had later stated to be the following: “I was on my phone and reached down for a bottle of water that fell to the floor.”
My sunflower saw the truck coming straight into her lane, she darted for the road “fog line” but the tractor trailer was traveling too fast and hit her in a near head on position with the 80k pound projectile against her 3k pound Fiat.
Todd Linder
The violent crash took both vehicles into the ditch, with the tractor rolling over and Cassy’s car staying upright. The CMV operator, not even wearing a seatbelt, sustained minor injuries. Cassy survived the initial impact, with no immediate life-threatening internal injuries, no life-threatening head injuries, and as the coroner’s report stated, she didn’t break her back or her neck, but both her legs and her arm were broken and mangled and she was bleeding—bleeding in a car that surprisingly did what it could to protect her in such a violent crash.
After 20-plus minutes of rescue and EMS working to get her removed from the wreckage, they were able to free her from her car, almost immediately after she went into cardiac arrest, and our sunflower was fading quickly. She was loaded into the waiting ambulance and off to the hospital she went.
I was called shortly after, and the officer told me that Cassy was in a terrible crash and that I needed to rush to the hospital. I remember running out of work, jumping into my car and within a few minutes I was there. A few nurses met me at the hospital they told me Cassy was hurt badly and that the doctors were working on her, after a few minutes, one of Cassy’s besties showed up as did my wife Rosa and a few other family members.
Fifteen minutes after I had arrived, two doctors and nurses emerged from the ER. I saw the look on their faces, and I knew what they were about to tell me. My knees buckled as I fell and just shouted “No, No No.” We all could not believe our sunflower had been plucked from this earth. Our family’s worst nightmare had just happened. Our lifetime sentence had just started.
That was the day our family’s vibrant sunflower was picked from this earth and sent on a voyage to the afterlife, not by her choice, but by the selfish choice of another driver, who chose to drive distracted.
A prom we will never see, a graduation we will never see, a career choice we will never see, a college graduation we will never see, a wedding we will never see, a grandchild we will never see. The “Never See’s” can go on forever in our family’s mind.
After a sleepless night for everyone, we all gathered ourselves up, with questions. How did this happen? What was the cause? How were we going to move forward?
The next day, the media came out with news saying that the CMV had crossed into her lane, bringing up even more questions. By noon, the Kansas Highway Patrol called us and stated that he would come by our home to talk about the crash.
The officer arrived, and with tears in his eyes, he said that the entire crash had been recorded on a truck equipped forward facing camera and he had watched the entire crash on video. He said Cassy was not at fault and did what she could to avoid the crash. He also said that they had the CMV drivers’ phone and would be looking into it through the investigation.
The only thing that I could think was, what a difference 2-3 seconds could have made, how can I turn back time for just a moment? As a father, it is second nature for us to protect our family at any cost, and the reality was, that I could not protect her at that moment, and this haunts me to this day. We also firmly believe that had the CMV been equipped with a forward and driver facing camera, our sunflower would be here today.
The next few days were a blur. Getting messages from strangers with condolences, and figuring out funeral arrangements for a child, my mind consumed with her memories of my little sunflower. You see, the sunflower was Cassy’s favorite flower, her vault had sunflowers painted all over it. Her funeral was one of the largest in Garden City in a long time.
Cassy was a great student in high school, she shined brightly among her friends. Her teachers all loved her, she had awesome grades. She was active in school and loved reading and watching episodes of Greys Anatomy. She and her friends loved to go on McDonalds runs and jamming to Taylor Swift. For Christmas that year, Cassy had asked me to get her tickets to Taylor Swift concert in July in Kansas City. I somehow managed to pull it off and she was so excited to get to go with one of her older sisters.
Unfortunately, she did not make the concert, but we tell people all the time that she had the best seat in the house. Her two sisters went in her honor.
Her friends and I talked, and we have decided we would never let Cassy become just a picture on the wall. We had memorial cards printed and came up with the idea to create a sunflower decal with the words “Don’t Drive Distracted” as a reminder to others that driving distracted is dangerous and kills.
We have had 1000’s printed up. People put them on their car windows, dash, review mirror, on their phones. We had a flag made, which we take to classic car show events. There, we give out cards, decals and bracelets again to remind others of the dangers of distracted driving.
My employer, UniFirst Corporation has taken notice of our efforts and recently made memorial cards with her picture and their own sunflower decal, and sent these out to all 16,000 team partners.
Not only that, but they also helped us design a floor mat with the sunflower and the words as again a reminder. They donated six of these mats to our family to give to various supporters. We have since purchased more and plan to give these out to as many schools across Kansas as we can afford.
Our family recently went to Washington DC to talk with our Kansas lawmakers about a refresh on Kansas vehicular manslaughter laws, a misdemeanor, and advocate for awareness, again giving out the reminder cards/decals.
I have written 100’s of emails to our Kansas representatives across Kansas with response from 10, which is sad within itself. As of this day, the diver of the CMV has yet to be charged with a crime for killing our daughter.
Believe it or not, he was able to move to another state and secure another job driving a CMV. Another shot to our family. When asked how this was possible, we have been told that since he has never been charged with a crime, he is able to slip through the cracks and secure work.
We have written to the local county attorney, asking for updates, asking for charges, asking for a meeting to hear us out the response is that the case is being reviewed and these cases take time. The one thing this tragedy is teaching us is patience.
I won’t stop advocating for awareness of what happened to Cassy that Monday March 13th, 2023, the worst day of our family’s life, our nightmare that plays over again, each day as we get up. It seems the wrong doers get to move on, while our family is left behind to pick up the pieces to a life that was selfishly lost.
On March 13, 2024, at 12:09 a.m., a miracle happened. Cassy’s sister, Brina, gave birth to her first child, Elara Kay, our 7th grandchild. It has totally transformed what used to be the worst day of our lives. Elara shares Cassy’s middle name.
Todd W. Linder is Cassie’s father. On March 13, 2023, when Cassie was 16 years old, a distracted Commercial Motor Vehicle operator missed a curve and crashed into her car head-on. Although Cassie survived the initial impact, she bled to death that day. The Linder family have tried to turn her tragedy into awareness by creating sunflower decals, raising awareness of the dangers of driving while distracted.
All views expressed are the author’s own.
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