“It’s messing with me that people…think I’m being petty and lacking in compassion when I don’t know what I was supposed to do,” she wrote
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Stock photo of a couple arguing
A woman is looking for advice over a tricky situation with an ex.
In a post on the “Am I the A——” subreddit, the anonymous Redditor wrote that her relationship with her ex-boyfriend, both in their 30s, ended in the summer of 2023.
“His mom was dealing with a cancer that was caught late and he couldn’t handle being in a relationship, he had to go home and be there with his family,” she wrote, sharing that “of course” she was “upset for him, his mom and our relationship.”
“Admittedly I said something like don’t end us, I can support you, I can fly out every so often and help you like wash your clothes and get you food and hold down the fort here so all is well when you come home,” she added. But his mind was made up.
Ultimately, although it broke her heart, she did eventually get on with her life – and had just recently started dating again when her ex called her out of the blue this week and said that his mother had passed away “months ago.”
After expressing her condolences they started catching up, but then he asked her if she wanted to get back together. She said she didn’t, and when asked why they couldn’t just “start over,” she said, “I don’t have those feelings anymore and moved on.”
She also said that she couldn’t “trust him not to toss me away when he has a crisis.”
When he continued to protest, saying that he heard through a mutual friend that she was still single, she told him, “I’m not single for your benefit” and hung up.
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Later, she said “another friend called me” and “said I should have just politely declined.”
“It’s messing with me that people outside of my parents think I’m being petty and lacking in compassion when I don’t know what I was supposed to do,” she added.
In the comments section, many Redditors said they didn’t think she was in the wrong for not wanting to get back together.
“Him going back home cause of his mom is normal and you even volunteered to be there! He said no and well no is no,” read one reply, while another commenter wrote that it was unfair of her ex to “expect you to wait around for him” and then pick things back up on his timeline.
Related: Woman Says Boyfriend’s Concern About Their 3-Year ‘Age Gap’ Led to Breakup After She Turned 30
Speaking from personal experience, others questioned his decision to end the relationship.
“I lost my Mom in 2018 and no way would I have imagined treating my support system the way you were treated,” one commenter wrote, while another replied, “I’d think he would have held you tighter.”
Meanwhile, some commenters wrote that any friends who couldn’t see where she was coming from “are not your friends. They’re his friends.”
In an update, the woman said that she appreciated all of the comments and had decided to block her ex and the friends she could no longer trust “to care about my privacy or boundaries.”
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